Scientists Baffled: Rainbows Origins Revealed

Philadelphia (AP) - In a recent study conducted by Villanova grad-student John Whitehead, the world's rainbows were all linked back to a common thread, Craig Good's ass. Craig Good, a special education teacher in the Upper Darby area, has always liked to spread joy according to his roommate, Matthew Guza.

"You know, I am not surprised one bit by this news. " Guza said. "I always knew there was something else brewing up there other than the many pungent smells."

Scientists have been rushing around trying to explain this natural phenomenon. Leading theorist, Dee Lowe, is a world renowned meteorologist for his discovery of planetary waves. Lowe's hypothesis speculates the shear size and mass of Mr. Good's ass bends space-time, and contorts light into the beautiful display known as a rainbow.

"Imagine if you would Craig's ass as a magic box, light goes in gets distorted and produces a rainbow," Lowe said. "without getting into Einstein's relativistic equations thats the best explanation I can provide."

There are skeptics out there however. Josh Folk, some guy we interviewed off the street with good facial hair, is not so easily convinced.

"I pose this question, what happens when Craig Good dies?" Folky asks rhetorically. "Are rainbows going to die? I, good sir, am not willing to accept that."

Still others find hope in the findings. Shauna, a 7-year old girl who likes swingsets had this to say,

"Craig's ass is like a beacon of hope for all humanity." Shauna said.